Well I can remember being at this point before. It has been a few years now, but I understand what's happening. I'm burnt out again. I knew it was going to happen, but I didn't know it would hit all at once. I got 10 hours of sleep and only got up once cause I was hoping it was snowing and not raining. lol So I should be refreshed right? Nope, big black bags under my eyes and no energy.
Lots of little stuff has gone down this week and none of it was very big or life threatening. But I just can't deal with any of it right now. I think last night was the final straw when I had to leave work early cause the kids had been home for too long alone.
Well it's off to work again right now. I have tomorrow off thankfully. I didn't get to write all I wanted, so I'll revisit this later tonight. I do have some things in the works to make a change, but that will mean some stress while we pay bills during the transition. :(
I'M SO BURNT OUT!!!
REVISITING:
Well I did a full 12 hours at work yesterday. Hmmm, any wonder why I'm burnt out? No, there is no wondering. I know and am just waiting for the transition to come full circle. Yesterday sucked and I didn't get back on here. I didn't even have the energy to watch tv and we know that is a sad state of affairs when that happens.
But I hate to leave focus on negatives, so I'll tell the happy story of coming home last night. Everyone was asleep of course by the time I got home and I was throwing a pity party in my head. :) I'm good at those if you ever need ideas. I get towards the front door and see that they put the Christmas wreath up, but notice that there's no ribbon on it. Odd, but thought maybe it looked like crap so they took it off. Nope, I totally forgot that hubby ordered a wreath and centerpiece from a friends kid. So I stood there with my face buried in the evergreens. It was heavenly. Brought tears to my eyes and was exactly what I needed to finish off the night in a better state of mind. Enough about yesterday, I'm going to start a new post about today!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Sunday, November 26, 2006
SNOW!
Man oh man do I want to be on the mountain. We drove over yesterday and the pass was full of snow with only one of the resorts open. But our fav. resort www.skicrystal.com has been open for over a week now. They got over 69" in the last week alone! AHHHHH, me want to be there.
It even snowed here this morning. It's very wet and will be gone by mid day if even that cause the kids are playing with it all. lol But it's crazy that we've gotten a dusting this early. It's supposed to be a great season and this just may be proof.
I'm sure they are right about it being a hard core season. Hubby won't be going since eh may be on probation for his new job. It's taken him 5 years to get hired on and the last thing we want is for him to get an injury playing. I'm going to have to take the kids up by myself this year. :( Won't be as much fun, but we'll make it work. I just gotta find a friend to go with me. lol I don't know any other women that board or that will get up as early as we do so we can be first. Stupid girls!
It even snowed here this morning. It's very wet and will be gone by mid day if even that cause the kids are playing with it all. lol But it's crazy that we've gotten a dusting this early. It's supposed to be a great season and this just may be proof.
I'm sure they are right about it being a hard core season. Hubby won't be going since eh may be on probation for his new job. It's taken him 5 years to get hired on and the last thing we want is for him to get an injury playing. I'm going to have to take the kids up by myself this year. :( Won't be as much fun, but we'll make it work. I just gotta find a friend to go with me. lol I don't know any other women that board or that will get up as early as we do so we can be first. Stupid girls!
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Where'd today go?
Well I've done a lot of nothing today, but I've been really good at it. I made breakfast, for myself. Kids were gone and hubby didn't want any. I stood my ground and said no I didn't want to go to his buddies house. It would have been fun, but I didn't want to go anywhere. I did mask my face and shave, so that's cool. Oh and took a long shower also. lol
I've advertised on a site with all 4 sites and searched around on here a lot. roflmao But realistically I haven't done all that I wanted to. Oh, I've blogged on 2 of my accounts, so that is really good. AND I found this really cool free mom makeover ebook and posted it to everyone I know. lol DUH, I forgot to post it here, so I'll get it on here for you later.
I'm redoing a lot in the coming weeks. I'm overworked and underpaid. Oh wait, that's over 3/4 of America. But seriously. I could have 9 clients a month and make the money I want. That would be working 18 hours a week. Instead of working 45-50 hours a week and making half the money I want. Hmmm, is there a choice? Fuckin' A NO!
I've advertised on a site with all 4 sites and searched around on here a lot. roflmao But realistically I haven't done all that I wanted to. Oh, I've blogged on 2 of my accounts, so that is really good. AND I found this really cool free mom makeover ebook and posted it to everyone I know. lol DUH, I forgot to post it here, so I'll get it on here for you later.
I'm redoing a lot in the coming weeks. I'm overworked and underpaid. Oh wait, that's over 3/4 of America. But seriously. I could have 9 clients a month and make the money I want. That would be working 18 hours a week. Instead of working 45-50 hours a week and making half the money I want. Hmmm, is there a choice? Fuckin' A NO!
Friday, November 17, 2006
Lost today
I've had so much on my mind and so much to do, that today just skipped past me. But, a huge thing happened. My desk is clean! Also I went and reorganized my books and notebooks from school and many notebooks I have for biz. I'll try to keep track of how long it takes for me to destroy the desk. It's usually a few days, but since I'm gone most of the time now, maybe I can make it last a week. lol
I still have a little pile next to me that needs to be put in appropriate places. But with all the dust, I'm beat. Allergies suck! Oh and I vaccumed so that's not helping.
I've been going through a lot of biz stuff lately and I hope it all calms down soon. Nothing to post about for it yet cause the internet world is small, but some changes are in the works.
On a very sad front. I left a comment on the BuckCherry myspace last night. Woke up this morning to a friends invite to Josh Todd's personal myspace. WAHHHHH, what happened? This crazy bitch is a nosy bitch and wants to know WTF! K, so Josh's new album
Is out. It sounds great from the spots I listened to on myspace and I can't wait to get it. But, where's Keith? Some of us just gotta know! If he's doing something else too, then I want that cd. So I was bummed when I saw the new album cause it leads me to believe that they are no more. Hopefully that isn't the case, but yeah right.
Well off to eat dinner and put the rest of these papers where they belong before I work on sites.
I still have a little pile next to me that needs to be put in appropriate places. But with all the dust, I'm beat. Allergies suck! Oh and I vaccumed so that's not helping.
I've been going through a lot of biz stuff lately and I hope it all calms down soon. Nothing to post about for it yet cause the internet world is small, but some changes are in the works.
On a very sad front. I left a comment on the BuckCherry myspace last night. Woke up this morning to a friends invite to Josh Todd's personal myspace. WAHHHHH, what happened? This crazy bitch is a nosy bitch and wants to know WTF! K, so Josh's new album
Is out. It sounds great from the spots I listened to on myspace and I can't wait to get it. But, where's Keith? Some of us just gotta know! If he's doing something else too, then I want that cd. So I was bummed when I saw the new album cause it leads me to believe that they are no more. Hopefully that isn't the case, but yeah right.
Well off to eat dinner and put the rest of these papers where they belong before I work on sites.
Monday, November 13, 2006
still feeling icky
Well maybe I over did it yesterday. I was able to keep food down by Sat. evening, and was starving yesterday, but now my tummy hurts and I have a headache. :( I have to go to work today, can't afford another day off. Plus, I don't know what is on my schedule today. I feel really bad for everyone that I did a no show with on Sat. But unfortunately, I didn't care on Sat. I would have had to be awake for more than a few minutes to care. lol
So no working out today. That is 4 days in a row. But I'm sure I lost weight because of the flu, so we'll see how much in a little while.
Oh to top it off, we had a really bad windstorm come through last night and I didn't get any sleep. That helped me a lot. NOT!!! Off to slop on some make-up and get out of here. I hate being responsible somedays. (sniffle, poor me, sniffle)
So no working out today. That is 4 days in a row. But I'm sure I lost weight because of the flu, so we'll see how much in a little while.
Oh to top it off, we had a really bad windstorm come through last night and I didn't get any sleep. That helped me a lot. NOT!!! Off to slop on some make-up and get out of here. I hate being responsible somedays. (sniffle, poor me, sniffle)
Friday, November 10, 2006
Carry-over from yesterday
Yesterday started off really, really well. I went to a corporate wellness expo and talked to a bunch of cool people and even made some new sales. So it was great. Then along came time for the kids to get home from school and my Mom to pick them up. They had half day and this was the third one in a row. I'm not going to go into what happened, cause I really only know one side of the story, but it was bad. WTF am I supposed to do over the cell phone? Especially when I said I need to talk to him and I hear my Mom ask him if he wants to talk to me. WTF???????!!!!!!!!!!!! You do not ask the 8 year old if he wants to talk to him Mom when you are having a problem. You TELL the 8 year old that his Mom wants to talk to him. Needless to say, after he hung up on me everything got worse for them.
So I've only been given what happened by the 8 year old and we talked about it for 1/2 an hour last night. He and I understand why it happened, but it's still not ok for him to get violent. He needs to eat every 2-3 hours or his emotions get out of control for him. Here at the house we haven't had a problem with it in about 2 years. But I forget that others don't fully understand how important it is for him to eat since they haven't been witness to the mood swing that can happen.
I said my nephew could come over today, forgot I said that. lol But kind of figured it wouldn't happen becuase Mom wouldn't want to deal with whatever happened. No such luck. So she asks if hubby told me what happened and I said no, because we only saw each other for a few minutes last night, but that son and I had talked about what happened and what needed to happen in the future so it wouldn't happen. She then proceeds to tell me that it's not ok for him to lay hands on people in anger. NO SHIT!
She proceeds to tell me some more about how it's not ok and I explain the whole food situation and how that doesn't make it ok, but the fact that he really loses his control. I think this is about when the conversation got me cranky and defensive.
Her: "he needs to understand that it's not ok".
me: "he does understand"
her: "well he obviously doesn't"
me: "if you ask him right now he will tell you it's not ok"
repeat a few times
I tell her that he does know right now if you talk to him about how wrong it is, but that he gets so frustrated after he hasn't eaten that he can't use that good judgement he has. BLah, blah, it's not ok. I finally asked her how she wanted me to handle it differently. Does she want me to beat him? No of course not, but wtf does she want me to do differently than what I did? I didn't get an answer about what I should do differently. This is how living in that house was, no wonder why I moved out 2 days after graduation. Nothing I've ever done is good enough. Which is fucking ironic cause I'm not the single parent that has never moved out and is 30 years old! Don't tell me how to raise a son, you fucked up with yours! Oh oh, I'm getting super pissed now. Maybe it's time for me to eat?
I guess hubby and I will have to talk about it tonight and ruin our evening. I can't have this hanging over me now and I want to hear what my Mom's side of the story wass. I just didn't want to hear it from her this morning. I'm sure I should have asked, but just wasn't up for it. The conversation was long enough as it was.
On a great note, hubby passed the first fire dept. test and will move on to the other tests now. That was a major accomplishment and another reason why I didn't want to talk about the issue last night. It was supposed to be a night to celebrate. It's only 11am and I want a martini bad now!
Oh and it all that isn't enough. My mother lovin' hosting won't let me update either site. I rarely have time to do updates, so to do them and then not be able to update it sucks! I can't put my newsletters out either until I get those updates online. WAHHH, let's do over!
So I've only been given what happened by the 8 year old and we talked about it for 1/2 an hour last night. He and I understand why it happened, but it's still not ok for him to get violent. He needs to eat every 2-3 hours or his emotions get out of control for him. Here at the house we haven't had a problem with it in about 2 years. But I forget that others don't fully understand how important it is for him to eat since they haven't been witness to the mood swing that can happen.
I said my nephew could come over today, forgot I said that. lol But kind of figured it wouldn't happen becuase Mom wouldn't want to deal with whatever happened. No such luck. So she asks if hubby told me what happened and I said no, because we only saw each other for a few minutes last night, but that son and I had talked about what happened and what needed to happen in the future so it wouldn't happen. She then proceeds to tell me that it's not ok for him to lay hands on people in anger. NO SHIT!
She proceeds to tell me some more about how it's not ok and I explain the whole food situation and how that doesn't make it ok, but the fact that he really loses his control. I think this is about when the conversation got me cranky and defensive.
Her: "he needs to understand that it's not ok".
me: "he does understand"
her: "well he obviously doesn't"
me: "if you ask him right now he will tell you it's not ok"
repeat a few times
I tell her that he does know right now if you talk to him about how wrong it is, but that he gets so frustrated after he hasn't eaten that he can't use that good judgement he has. BLah, blah, it's not ok. I finally asked her how she wanted me to handle it differently. Does she want me to beat him? No of course not, but wtf does she want me to do differently than what I did? I didn't get an answer about what I should do differently. This is how living in that house was, no wonder why I moved out 2 days after graduation. Nothing I've ever done is good enough. Which is fucking ironic cause I'm not the single parent that has never moved out and is 30 years old! Don't tell me how to raise a son, you fucked up with yours! Oh oh, I'm getting super pissed now. Maybe it's time for me to eat?
I guess hubby and I will have to talk about it tonight and ruin our evening. I can't have this hanging over me now and I want to hear what my Mom's side of the story wass. I just didn't want to hear it from her this morning. I'm sure I should have asked, but just wasn't up for it. The conversation was long enough as it was.
On a great note, hubby passed the first fire dept. test and will move on to the other tests now. That was a major accomplishment and another reason why I didn't want to talk about the issue last night. It was supposed to be a night to celebrate. It's only 11am and I want a martini bad now!
Oh and it all that isn't enough. My mother lovin' hosting won't let me update either site. I rarely have time to do updates, so to do them and then not be able to update it sucks! I can't put my newsletters out either until I get those updates online. WAHHH, let's do over!
Sunday, November 05, 2006
working a sunday ;(
Well it can't be helped. Or I guess it could be, but I want a piece of the money. lol Tonight is a big fundraising event at the mall and our gym is hosting the pre-party for all the shoppers. So I'm off to work tonight from 5-11pm. UGH! Tomorrow is going to be a long day with such little sleep, but if I get a piece of the 40-50 memberships that sign up it will be worth it.
The main problem is I have a new committment to working out, so after work I am going to do 20 min. of cardio. I figure I may as well, everyone will be asleep when I get home anyway. So that gets me home sometime around midnight. Then back up again in the morning at 6 to get kids off to school and get ready to go to work again. :( It will all be good. I also have to leave work early wed. and thurs. because of conferences, so the extra hours today work out.
This next commission check will be Christmas and I have to remind myself of that. lol
Right now I'm doing the everlovin' laundry. I knew I should have done my load of pants last night. One pair isn't supposed to be dried in the dryer, but I'm going to have to anyway cause I want to wear them tonight.
Off to make lists of chores for the kids. They aren't picking up the slack this week. Does anyone else have the annoying knats in the house? I know they are always around this time of year, but they still drive me crazy! Time to deep clean the house so they will die sooner. Off to get ready for work and watch The Break Up.
The main problem is I have a new committment to working out, so after work I am going to do 20 min. of cardio. I figure I may as well, everyone will be asleep when I get home anyway. So that gets me home sometime around midnight. Then back up again in the morning at 6 to get kids off to school and get ready to go to work again. :( It will all be good. I also have to leave work early wed. and thurs. because of conferences, so the extra hours today work out.
This next commission check will be Christmas and I have to remind myself of that. lol
Right now I'm doing the everlovin' laundry. I knew I should have done my load of pants last night. One pair isn't supposed to be dried in the dryer, but I'm going to have to anyway cause I want to wear them tonight.
Off to make lists of chores for the kids. They aren't picking up the slack this week. Does anyone else have the annoying knats in the house? I know they are always around this time of year, but they still drive me crazy! Time to deep clean the house so they will die sooner. Off to get ready for work and watch The Break Up.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Unproductive
Not sure what's up, but I've been so scatter brained today. And I guess it actually has been more this week than just today. I have no idea what is up. I'm not normaly like this and if I am it's only for a day at most. I have no memory right now for the little stuff. One of those "if my head wasn't attached..." kind of feelings. lol
I'm sure it will be better tomorrow. When I was at work today it was actually better than normal. Of course I was only supposed to be at work to work out, but there was a new joiner that needed a tour and I figured why not make some money while I'm there. lol So I toured him with no make-up, messy hair in a ponytail and my workout clothes on. He still joined with me looking so scary. He must be committed to losing the weight. rofl OH and btw, I didn't steal a sale from one of the trainers that was working today. The receptionist had called 3 times to get someone when I walked in the door. It was just karma that I got there at the right time.
So today though. I had a bunch of stuff I really wanted to get done today, but couldn't focus on any one thing. I had a bunch of different windows open on the computer and never really finished any of the projects. I think tomorrow I will work on prioritizing my list while I'm at work. Then I will hit one thing hard on Sunday morning and finish it. Newsletters are probably the biggest one to hit. So I'll put those first and get them out asap.
k, better go and get some sleep. It's a long day tomorrow!
I'm sure it will be better tomorrow. When I was at work today it was actually better than normal. Of course I was only supposed to be at work to work out, but there was a new joiner that needed a tour and I figured why not make some money while I'm there. lol So I toured him with no make-up, messy hair in a ponytail and my workout clothes on. He still joined with me looking so scary. He must be committed to losing the weight. rofl OH and btw, I didn't steal a sale from one of the trainers that was working today. The receptionist had called 3 times to get someone when I walked in the door. It was just karma that I got there at the right time.
So today though. I had a bunch of stuff I really wanted to get done today, but couldn't focus on any one thing. I had a bunch of different windows open on the computer and never really finished any of the projects. I think tomorrow I will work on prioritizing my list while I'm at work. Then I will hit one thing hard on Sunday morning and finish it. Newsletters are probably the biggest one to hit. So I'll put those first and get them out asap.
k, better go and get some sleep. It's a long day tomorrow!
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